Our Torah portion this week, Ki Tissa (Ex. 30:11 - 34:35) contains a reminder of the unspoken challenge of Judaism: remain confident in our covenant with God, even when the facts we see appear not to support that. It was a brief moment ago that the Israelites were about to be wiped out at the shores of the Red Sea and miraculously, they were saved and made it to Mt. Sinai. There the people witnessed the awesome, and awful, display of God’s might when they were made God’s covenant partners. Now Moses has gone back up the mountain to inscribe the tablets with God’s words and has stayed for over a month. The people “lose faith” and turn to his brother to provide them with spiritual guidance.
We know how that ends: Aaron tells the men to take the gold out of their ears and noses and to bring it to him, he throws it in the fire and poof! A gold sculpture of a calf comes out of the fire. That is evidently the sign for a party involving sacrifices and loud music, which Moses hears as he descends Mt. Sinai. He wonders about the significance of the music and seems unprepared for the scene of wild revelry that confronts him when he arrives at the camp. Let’s recall that here is a man who has impulse control issues, if the incidence of his fatal assault of an Egyptian is a precedent. He didn’t stop to think of the consequences of his actions then, and he doesn’t now. Moses seems to react with: “If this is how you treat your covenant with God, you don’t need the tablets I just brought down” and smashes them in sight of the people at the foot of the mountain.
What was the motivation of the Israelites to ask Aaron to make them a god so they could pray to it? They had been used to a culture that worshipped “graven images” every day and while they must have been relieved to be freed and saved from drowning in the Red Sea, they were pretty new to belief in an unseen God. I’m not the first to posit that they had a childish grasp of faith and belief in God, i.e. if I can’t see what’s in it for me, it’s not worth my time and effort. The perspective of a small child is often: give me what I want and do it quick! The ability to postpone gratification is usually one that develops over time. After years of being fed, clothed, cleaned and loved, small children expect those things to continue. So too the Israelites at Sinai: they did what Moses told them to and made it out of Egypt, but then Moses ‘left’ and God isn’t doing miracles today so… let’s have fun NOW.
So for me, the point of the story of the Golden Calf is less about how prone to idolatry our people has been and more about how growing up is hard to do. Developing the ability to retain belief in a higher power even on days when lots of things go wrong and no relief appears in sight is possible. It’s not easy, and I understand how tempting it is to go for the attainable short-term goal of physical enjoyment – I like to dance too after all. I encourage us all to put ourselves in the place of the Israelites and imagine how much safer they must have felt once they could see their ‘god’. Can we understand the relief in having something concrete to turn to when one feels abandoned? I too have wanted to get some kind of response to my prayer and been disappointed when none was forthcoming. While the festivities may have appeared to Moses to be celebratory, I suspect the Israelites were masking a great deal of anxiety. It’s true that they got what they said they wanted: they had Aaron and the idol, but they, like children, really need their parent. Even when that parent is angry, even when that parent seems not to accept their behavior. We all need our relationship with our parents to mature in order to grow into healthy adults. The frantic attempt of the infant Jewish people to hide their need for God’s protection shouldn’t fool us – they’re kids acting out. For them, something IS better than nothing, because they have yet to truly internalize that their partnership with God is one that will sustain them, even when it appears as if God’s response is … nothing.
Shabbat Shalom Rabbi Leah Benamy
