How often has it happened that you have set out with a clear goal in mind, only to find yourself derailed by an unexpected development. In the first words of this week’s Torah portion VaYeitzei (Gen. 28:10-32:3) Jacob leaves Beer Sheva, headed for Haran, almost exactly the opposite flight plan of his grandfather Abraham. The plan was for him to find a wife from his uncle Laban’s household. But let’s not forget this is the same Jacob who duped his father into giving him the first born’s blessing. Are we surprised that he doesn’t have a restful night’s sleep after running away in fear of his brother Esau’s retaliation? The image of a “ladder to heaven” would surely have startled anyone, but how much the more so a young, sheltered man who was essentially on the run?
The funny thing about that image is that in our text the angels were going up and coming down, meaning they had been here on Earth and were returning “to base” as it were by going up the ladder. God is at the top of the ladder and Jacob dreams that God reiterates the same promise made to Abraham: “your descendants shall be as the durst of the earth…Remember I am with you: I will protect you wherever you go and will bring you back to this land”(Gen 28:13-15). Very reassuring! Which is why the next scene of his meeting with Rachel at the well is even more powerful – we infer SHE will be the mother of many of the next generation.
But that was a plan that got derailed… Not only did Jacob not get to marry Rachel for nearly 14 years, he was MADE to marry her sister. That’s not a derailment, that’s a train wreck! My biblical namesake Leah, while not her husband’s first choice by any means, is held in high regard in rabbinic tradition… because she had the greatest number of sons.
Eventually the plan came to fruition, Jacob married into his uncle Laban’s family and after increasing both their wealth, eventually did marry Rachel and was even reunited with his brother Esau happily. But the fact that it didn’t go smoothly, that it required real fortitude and resilience to keep focused and not give up teaches us something. Even though Jacob was a liar and a cheat, it appears he could take it just as well as he could dish it out. Sometimes standing up to the bully and saying “I’m not afraid of what you can do to me” is all it takes to convince oneself that you can handle whatever the situation may be.
Finally, just to make sure there is no tension around this issue, I want to report that I had a very pleasant and helpful meeting with Barbara Costello at Cheshire Parks and Recreation and I believe that the planning for next year’s ceremony will include input from TBD. We have a year to agree on what we’ll say next year.
Shabbat Shalom Rabbi Leah Benamy
