Each morning we are supposed to wake up reciting the Modeh Ani prayer:
I am thankful before You, living and enduring King, for you have mercifully restored my soul within me. Great is Your faithfulness.
Many of the negative feelings that well up in our soul during our lives are the result of the locus of power being removed from us, and being taken by the other. In a sense, what is really happening when someone makes us feel bad is that they have taken away our sense of power and strength and therefore, we feel bad. The Modeh Ani prayer is the corrective to the negatives of life. It is a model for empowerment and happiness in the face of the inevitable lows of living. This model is in three parts.
The first part recognizes that God has granted us power by “Restoring our soul” to us. By being given a soul, we are by default told we are being asked to be powerful beings that affect the world around us. It is as the Rabbis say, “although halakha is greatly concerned for of the dignity of the deceased, the wellbeing of the living is even more important, as the living are still obligated to fulfill mitzvot”. The mere state of being alive is to be in a state of power.
Secondly, the prayer teaches us to open each day with gratitude. No matter how bad things are, there is always something we can be grateful for in life. I completely understand that this is not an easy practice. I also do not want to suggest that we should be thankful for sickness or pain. Rather, I am suggesting that we can hold something like the pain of loss while simultaneously possessing gratitude for having had the opportunity to love. A statement of gratitude does not, nor is it designed to, negate that which is painful or hard. Rather, gratitude helps us to find a counterweight to pain. It is a practice that becomes easier and easier the more you make it a habit to wake up each day looking for that which we can be grateful.
Lastly, and perhaps most helpful, is to make gratitude as specific as possible. The modeh ani is not a general prayer of gratitude about being alive, but a specific prayer about being grateful for our souls. The more specific we can be with our gratitude the more powerful the results of the gratitude.
I hope this model of gratitude is one that will help you as you move through your day. Keep at it and I promise you will find that the difficulties of life will be easier to take and your happiness will improve. Shabbat Shalom!
